Blizzard Hints Strange Diablo III Cow Level Teasers

These past days, Blizzard Entertainment has been hinting and teasing the Cow Level and the Cow King.

Blizzard Hints Strange Diablo III Cow Level Teasers

 

happy-beef-day-diablo-iii

A post at the official Diablo III website seems to hint you might find sudden orange portals opening up in the middle of your adventures. Enter if you dare at your own peril.

Citizens of Sanctuary,

We’ve recently herd rumors of an invasion. Not one of a demonic nature, mind you, for those we are quite accustomed to. No, these rumors allege that townships throughout Khanduras are being overrun by bipedal, bardiche-bearing bovine who are luring weary adventurers to the proverbial slaughter through moosterious orange portals.

Many of you have expressed fear. Some have asked if you should moov your families. To this we say: Hold fast. There is no cause for alarm. We’ve seen the so-called “evidence” being pastured around local inns and, after thoroughly investigating all reported sightings, can cowfindently state that this is nothing more than a clever hoax.

AnniversaryBuff-HellBovine_D3_Lightbox_JP_550x480.jpgAnniversaryBuff-NormalCow_D3_Lightbox_JP_550x480.jpg
On the left is the “imaginative” artist rendition of the threat.
On the right is the truth of the matter and what we actually found after proper inspection.

There are no homicidal heifers. There is no invasion. And, more specifically, there is no cow level. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of bull and simply milking this terrible prank for all that it’s worth.


That said, while the idea of some sort of “cowpocalypse” (as one terrified farmer has taken to calling this) is udderly ridiculous, it is worth noting that one can never be too careful. And so, after consulting with our local Horadrim chapter, we have elected to issue an advisory.

Effective immediately, we encourage all residents of Sanctuary to steer clear of the wilds. From dawn on May 15 to dusk on May 21, it is also recommended that you avoid entering any strange portals that may or may not lead to alternate planes of existence. This activity cud be potentially hazardous to your health and, in the opinion of this humble civil servant, is a veally bad idea in general.

In the meantime, we urge you all to stay calm and remember that cows don’t kill people. Everything ELSE in Sanctuary kills people.

Thank you,

– Management

 

Tomas Hernandez is owner of Blizzplanet.com since 2003. I post news about World of Warcraft, StarCraft II, Diablo III, Hearthstone, Overwatch, Heroes of the Storm, Blizzard Careers, and the Warcraft film.

Blizzplanet is a leading fansite covering news about upcoming Blizzard Entertainment licensed products. I also post previews and reviews. I have interviewed book writers and Blizzard game developers.

I was previously an employee of the OGaming Network (2003), and IncGamers (2008-2010). I was a guest newsposter for GosuGamers (World of Warcraft) a few years ago and for Diablofans.com (formerly Diablo3.com)

***Fans who would love to watch Blizzard-related panels and appreciate our efforts can support Blizzplanet’s patreon in a monthly-basis, or a one-time basis. Our staff are volunteer fans like you. Your donatives will help us travel to all the Blizzard events we attend year-round.

Facebook Twitter YouTube